domingo, julho 27, 2008


A stranger on the train who wants to tell me about their bowel movements.
A crying woman with a harpoon gun entering a sports bar.
Any man with a birthmark shaped like a hypodermic needle.
Anyone who takes off work on Ted Bundy's birthday.
A priest with an eyepatch and a limp who's selling pieces of the cross.
Any woman who repeatedly gives me a high five during sex.
A cross-eyed man in a New Year's hat reciting "Casey at the Bat" in Latin.
Any guy named "Dogmeat" whose body has over six square feet of scar tissue.
A girl whose wallet contains nude photos of Sam Donaldson or Yasser Arafat.
Any couple who owns "his and hers" rectal thermometers.
Anyone who gets plastic surgery in an attempt to look more intelligent.
Anyone who refers to Charles Manson as "Chuck."
Anyone who receives e-mail from Willard Scott.
A retarded twelve-year-old who carries more than six boxes of matches.
Any man who gives himself a Harvey Wallbanger enema. On the rocks.
A homely, flat-chested woman wearing a "Foxy Lady" t-shirt.
Any person bleeding from three orifices who wants me to cosign for a loan.
Guys in their 50s named "Skip."
A cross-eyed nun with a bullwhip and a bottle of gin.
A Boy Scout leader who owns a dildo shop.
People with big gums and small teeth.
Anyone who uses the word "Jesus" more than 300 times in a two minute conversation.
A dentist with blood in his hair.
Autor: George Carlin

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