dispenso

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A stranger on the train who wants to tell me about their bowel movements.

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A crying woman with a harpoon gun entering a sports bar.

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Any man with a birthmark shaped like a hypodermic needle.

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Anyone who takes off work on Ted Bundy's birthday.

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A priest with an eyepatch and a limp who's selling pieces of the cross.

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Any woman who repeatedly gives me a high five during sex.

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A cross-eyed man in a New Year's hat reciting "Casey at the Bat" in Latin.

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Any guy named "Dogmeat" whose body has over six square feet of scar tissue.

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A girl whose wallet contains nude photos of Sam Donaldson or Yasser Arafat.

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Any couple who owns "his and hers" rectal thermometers.

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Anyone who gets plastic surgery in an attempt to look more intelligent.

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Anyone who refers to Charles Manson as "Chuck."

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Anyone who receives e-mail from Willard Scott.

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A retarded twelve-year-old who carries more than six boxes of matches.

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Any man who gives himself a Harvey Wallbanger enema. On the rocks.

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A homely, flat-chested woman wearing a "Foxy Lady" t-shirt.

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Any person bleeding from three orifices who wants me to cosign for a loan.

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Guys in their 50s named "Skip."

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A cross-eyed nun with a bullwhip and a bottle of gin.

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A Boy Scout leader who owns a dildo shop.

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People with big gums and small teeth.

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Anyone who uses the word "Jesus" more than 300 times in a two minute conversation.

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A dentist with blood in his hair.

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Autor: George Carlin